Whoopsie Daisy! A Corpse Went Flying Out Of The Back Of A Funeral Home's Hearse And Landed In The Middle Of A Busy City Street
ABC News- A funeral home in Poland issued an unusual apology on Saturday after a corpse that it was transporting fell out of a hearse and into traffic. Polish media reported that a man was driving down a street Friday in Stalowa Wola, a city in southeastern Poland, when he first saw a sheet on his car window. When the sheet slid down, he saw a body lying on the road. Local media published an image of the corpse lying on a white striped pedestrian crossing where it tumbled out of the hearse.
The company transporting the corpse, Hades Funeral Services, issued a statement Saturday taking responsibility for the incident and blaming a technical failure of the hearse.
“It is with deep regret that we inform you that as a result of an unexpected technical failure of the electric tailgate lock in the hearse, during the transport of the body of the deceased, an unfortunate event occurred which does not reflect the high standards of our company, our deep empathy towards the families of the deceased, and the respect we always show to the deceased,” the company wrote in a statement posted on its website.
Well well well, looks like those motherfuckers at Spectrum no longer have a leg to stand on for removing Corncob TV from their local listings, which included the hit show Coffin Flop.
I know that the body of a loved one falling out of a coffin is a horrifying image for the family and friends of the deceased to witness. But you have to admit that NOTHING tickles the morbid curiosity bone more than watching a dead body flop out of a box at an unexpected moment.
If that body is naked, the bone is tickled even more, which isn't really a perverted thing as much as it is a primal reaction to seeing the oxymoron play out of someone being dead in their birthday suit.
I bet if you asked the Polish people who were driving in the road their thoughts on everything, they'd say it was shocking yet exhilarating experience. I also bet if you asked them if they'd love to see other scenarios like this happen that were definitely NOT RIGGED, they'd beg to know the channel and the time where they could watch a show like this. Unfortunately they'd be shit out of luck because the dickheads at Spectrum dropped the hammer back at the end of 2022 (I don't know if they even get Spectrum in Poland, which is probably a good thing since those assholes wouldn't know good content if it fell out of a coffin naked).
To be honest, I have no clue how to finish this blog since I have this sketch trapped in my brain and I have no take on the actually story outside of saying I'd love to blame the funeral home director for this crazy shit happening but those caskets can get some serious momentum since they are lowkey heavy as fuck not to mention that corpses fall out of caskets all the time according to my favorite cancelled show. So I consider this a respectable response from said funeral home director.
Now I will wrap things up by inserting my favorite I Think You Should Leave sketch because it fits perfectly with it being Spooky Season.